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Haircut Anxiety

from Long Haul by Sweeney Toad

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lyrics

My hairs getting too long dandruff getting too strong
Handsomely regretting man what did I do wrong
The longer I wait the farther I get
I squander my fate I have barber regret
I saunter and procrastinate I’m saying I’m scared
Don’t look at me and say relax it’s just hair
I can’t stand that chair in fact it’s not fair
Customers in the back in fact they do stare
They do care they judging me and my choice in haircut
I am ashamed, Yeah so I care what
It’s just hair but it’s so much more
It’s a conversation but I am bored
But you can’t act bored you have to be interested
If you don’t show interest your hair they will butcher it
Or Ashton Kutcher it I don’t want to get punk’d
Party in the back business in the front

Shave and a haircut that frightens me
Fade and I care but that frightens me
Shampoo condition fair but frightens me
Serious condition haircut anxiety
Shave and a haircut that frightens me
Fade and I care but that frightens me
Shampoo condition fair but frightens me
Serious condition haircut anxiety

You wouldn’t believe how many times I walked out the lobby
He was just reading a magazine I thought he was snobby
Oh god he probably saw me nervous
Why the hell did I bring my coffee thermos
The coffee is hot I’m getting all sweaty
I mentally prepare I’m getting all ready
For that walk of shame to the barber chair
Everyone is laughing at my garbage hair
Bad hair day I don’t even deserve to be groomed
I hate being out in public where everyone can see you
I need you all to just go home
I’m getting a haircut I need to be alone
I hate when the barber asks what I do for a living
I say I’m a rapper, there is much grinning
Then he’s like but seriously what do you do
I look in the mirror say I wish that I knew

Shave and a haircut that frightens me
Fade and I care but that frightens me
Shampoo condition fair but frightens me
Serious condition haircut anxiety
Shave and a haircut that frightens me
Fade and I care but that frightens me
Shampoo condition fair but frightens me
Serious condition haircut anxiety

credits

from Long Haul, released July 4, 2020
M. Sweeney

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Sweeney Toad Palm Beach, Florida

If you're looking for nerdcore, I can tell you I don't have nerdcore... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let nerdcore go now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will find you... and I will nerdcore you. ... more

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