Long Haul

by Sweeney Toad

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1.
I’m packing up my space ship and I’m getting ready to fly off Make sure I got a face mask in case a steady new dry cough Shows up or I throw up when I’m breaking through the atmosphere Sit alone at the bar and drink my last saddest beer This the saddest year that feels like hasn’t even been started But it’s half way over let’s pour one out for dearly departed I’ve got an important mission I need to act candidly I’m leaving without saying goodbye to a radder galaxy I’m flying through space it’s just me and my puppers I’ll call you when I get there leave me your number I wonder what’ll be like it must feel like a paradise This new frontier that you fear is perfect no inherent vice No hidden defect utopia is the best no more thought silence No disease we just feel joy just Eloi no Morlock violence The brightest of days are lighting up ahead of me I should of stayed to make it work instead I leave I am very busy I know you probably miss me But I am taking care of business Even if it kills me I am very busy I know you probably miss me But I am taking care of business Even if it kills me I am very busy I know you probably miss me But I am taking care of business Even if it kills me I am very busy I know you probably miss me But I am taking care of business Even if it kills me I’m on a new rad planet I know you had to plan it But I miss you more than ever an endeavor I can’t stand it It’s the hardest thing I had to do I wish I hadn’t had to choose you I’m the maddest at myself and it was sad to lose you I knew you for the longest time I always thought that we’d be fine But I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a perfect time I had a space mission but was it really worth it I Don’t really know and so we got to divorce and cry oh Here I am in fear and mad in new utopia A new beginning with soothing sadness well it mostly sucks I did this to myself I trained my brain inducing department I had to get to my new place a studio leasing apartment I didn’t leave the planet but like magic sort of ghosted No space mission self made prison I’m agoraphobic I am very busy I know you probably miss me But I am taking care of business Even if it kills me I am very busy I know you probably miss me But I am taking care of business Even if it kills me I am very busy I know you probably miss me But I am taking care of business Even if it kills me I am very busy I know you probably miss me But I am taking care of business Even if it kills me
2.
I guess I’m in it for the long haul The new kid at school who went down the wrong hall My actions caused long lasting repercussions And I had discussions about my disappointing behavior I was the picture of Hope a mixture of both Both? An Instagram savior a bringer of flavor To your bland brand of existence a vision of chaos Like a slam dance in the distance so you better pay us And crowd surf over to the loud mouth jehovah witness Behold my business it will change your life I told ya listen You will pray to buy everything i’m selling you twice Everything I’m telling you is revolutionary right? Give me all your money that’s restitutionary nice It’s best you marry settle down and let it down Your hair and your guard be young and be wild Dare to worship god and don’t forget to smile you in it for the long haul I had it coming, you started running I had to be alone (I had it coming) I had it coming, it’s always something I’m feeling pretty cold (I had it coming) I had it coming, always pushing buttons I had to be alone (I had it coming) I had it coming, I had learned nothing I’m chiseled out of stone (I had it coming) I walked out the laboratory I talked about the saddest stories Mass extinction faster instincts of a super intelligent virus A parasite that hides inside us And why us? making us look fine just Chillin on a summer night I wonder right? How did it get so smart? And tear us apart? From the inside out and I doubt this will be over anytime soon Any fly dudes with the same symptoms? Why was this predicted on the Simpsons? Listen I’m an expert on how sadness works I’m smitten I even know a thing or two on how magnets work it’s written In the sands of time I’m handsome like scriptures with pictures of plague and famine Fly me to the moon I want to talk to Sampson And damn it I’m tired of being sick but I keep rapping I want to recover wonder if it will ever happen And what if I don’t? I’m starting to think that I won’t Am I ever feeling better? Nope I had it coming, you started running I had to be alone (I had it coming) I had it coming, it’s always something I’m feeling pretty cold (I had it coming) I had it coming, always pushing buttons I had to be alone (I had it coming) I had it coming, I had learned nothing I’m chiseled out of stone (I had it coming)
3.
Got this little nasty feeling up in my throat You can cash me inside breathing I need to choke I guarantee this barely the god damn flu Stop calling it that your embarrassing you god damn fool This is not cool it actually very much sucks I feel like trash that’s been hit by a garbage truck It’s SARS as fuck it’s an intelligent weapon I feel fine sometimes and then in bed the next second I don’t know what do anymore because I’m never getting better Wearing sweaters in July I get chills and then I fry getting wetter Now I’m sweating getting tightness in my chest It feels like an elephant pressed inside a vest Tingles in my fingers I keep smelling Pringle’s salt and vinegar Keep smelling chemicals burning nostrils my tonsils taste like ginger or Chlorine am I drowning in a wormhole Brain fog is insane god I just want to feel normal Who let all the bad guys in my house? Invaders inside They need to get up and get out Invaders inside Why do I keep feeling so sick? Invaders inside When are they ever just going to quit? Invaders inside Why am I sick for 3 months straight? Invaders inside Why can’t I taste the food on my plate? Invaders inside It feels like an alien download inside me Invaders inside Why did I have to get COVID-19? Invaders inside I think I’m getting better, wait I’m feeling sick again I think I’m getting better, hello covid my old friend Recovery imposter ugly monster back inside me Feel him surging burning through my veins he might be Clogging up my blood I’m coughing up my lungs again Stopping up my pipes with phlegm are we having fun yet? Let me get a temp check in bed sick can’t even lay straight Why have I been sick for fifty seven days straight? Hey wait, doctors say it’s anxiety Ok doc what are you prescribing me? Let me guess a little bit of Xanax and klonopin The same song again no panic and I’m gone again But then I wake up with that same tightness in my chest A lightness in my head always thinking that I might be dead Wake up every night drenched in sweat burning in my throat This the new normal and I’m learning to find hope Who let all the bad guys in my house? Invaders inside They need to get up and get out Invaders inside Why do I keep feeling so sick? Invaders inside When are they ever just going to quit? Invaders inside Why am I sick for 3 months straight? Invaders inside Why can’t I taste the food on my plate? Invaders inside It feels like an alien download inside me Invaders inside Why did I have to get COVID-19? Invaders inside
4.
My hairs getting too long dandruff getting too strong Handsomely regretting man what did I do wrong The longer I wait the farther I get I squander my fate I have barber regret I saunter and procrastinate I’m saying I’m scared Don’t look at me and say relax it’s just hair I can’t stand that chair in fact it’s not fair Customers in the back in fact they do stare They do care they judging me and my choice in haircut I am ashamed, Yeah so I care what It’s just hair but it’s so much more It’s a conversation but I am bored But you can’t act bored you have to be interested If you don’t show interest your hair they will butcher it Or Ashton Kutcher it I don’t want to get punk’d Party in the back business in the front Shave and a haircut that frightens me Fade and I care but that frightens me Shampoo condition fair but frightens me Serious condition haircut anxiety Shave and a haircut that frightens me Fade and I care but that frightens me Shampoo condition fair but frightens me Serious condition haircut anxiety You wouldn’t believe how many times I walked out the lobby He was just reading a magazine I thought he was snobby Oh god he probably saw me nervous Why the hell did I bring my coffee thermos The coffee is hot I’m getting all sweaty I mentally prepare I’m getting all ready For that walk of shame to the barber chair Everyone is laughing at my garbage hair Bad hair day I don’t even deserve to be groomed I hate being out in public where everyone can see you I need you all to just go home I’m getting a haircut I need to be alone I hate when the barber asks what I do for a living I say I’m a rapper, there is much grinning Then he’s like but seriously what do you do I look in the mirror say I wish that I knew Shave and a haircut that frightens me Fade and I care but that frightens me Shampoo condition fair but frightens me Serious condition haircut anxiety Shave and a haircut that frightens me Fade and I care but that frightens me Shampoo condition fair but frightens me Serious condition haircut anxiety
5.
I mean what’s next? Trioxin? I’d expect nothing less, I’ve lost it I’m losing my mind I can’t deal with the pain I’m going to go find a mad meal of fresh brains Insane, how’d the world get like this? Voodoo? I mean what’s next? Cthulhu? Your tentacles are everywhere screaming infidelities This is confessional interspecies melody Sing the song of death a funeral lament Accept it I guess you knew it had to end Your friend is the president he’s got this in check Don’t wear a mask don’t show him disrespect Going postal in this gaudy apartment complex You know what’s next a zombie apocalypse They using us lock us in here periodically They grooming us watch us spin fear is the methodology 2-4-5 Trioxin, biochemical government toxin 2-4-5 Trioxin, biochemical government toxin 2-4-5 Trioxin, biochemical government toxin 2-4-5 Trioxin, biochemical government toxin Send more paramedics is that burning rubber or am I sweating? I’m not a betting man but I bet we’re all dead Who wants to bet a world war around the bend But don’t worry they’ll send more paramedics By 2021 we’ll have 20 more pandemics Germicide warfare from the great leader A Christmas present to the world from North Korea I’ll see ya next year if you’re practicing lurking How much will you spend on a vaccine that’s working A vaccine that’s worthy not filled with trioxin Who’s going to watch the COVID-19 biopic I’m off topic actually not really These are predictions I’m psychic you feel me Where’s my Netflix deal I got ten more hypothetics But first I need more brains send more paramedics 2-4-5 Trioxin, biochemical government toxin 2-4-5 Trioxin, biochemical government toxin 2-4-5 Trioxin, biochemical government toxin 2-4-5 Trioxin, biochemical government toxin

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Remember to wear a mask and face-shield while listening, and be sure to quarantine for 14 days afterward!

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released July 4, 2020

lyrics, vocals, beats, and artwork by M. Sweeney

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Sweeney Toad Palm Beach, Florida

If you're looking for nerdcore, I can tell you I don't have nerdcore... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let nerdcore go now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will find you... and I will nerdcore you. ... more

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