When I'm Dead Just Throw Me in the Trash

by Sweeney Toad

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1.
Pick me up I’m falling off this balcony I’m about to flip this truck yo so saddle me I got the hands of a man blisters grown outside With fans in Japan I am mr toad’s wild ride You wanna hide inside, in utero I got a heart shaped box and soon you will know I’ll change it up take you by surprise, been larval I’ma take you for a ride, when is marvel You think Ima die? This dude be mistaken Ok my guy this is true love we makin’ I’m vacant like a bates motel, your mother Told me I’m a good boy, play well with others Save the drama for your mama you an incel You gotta be Obama and I am Michelle I’m inside you vore I got you pegged I got the high score in house of the dead The human race is wack, we stink, we need a bath When I am dead just throw me in the trash The human race is wack, so completely crass When I am dead just throw me in the trash I fled the scene of the crime because I was bored as hell I hang out with morticians because morgues are swell I don’t take checks, you owe me cash When I am dead just throw me in the trash I’m dirty I’m nasty lastly cant be trusted manipulate your brain you a fantastic puppet Ham fisted and rugged I tripped on the carpet I met your dad at dunkin met your mother at target Bad for business Lloyd Christmas dumb and dumber I wrote this verse in bed inside your mother Oh well cest la vie it may as well be Nothing you can do it was your destiny Invest in me you about to get yo daddy back Impressingly dumber than Bill Murray caddy shack You are sadly wack embarrassed by your own picture You a fanny pack American pie so Stiffler The human race is wack, we stink, we need a bath When I am dead just throw me in the trash The human race is wack, so completely crass When I am dead just throw me in the trash
2.
You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast It is more couth to smoke your kush inside a booth than a bush But we do what we gotta do when shove come to push Those are looks of love a sign from above Tennis shoes on a power line I’m in the club Pour me a drink with hint of sour lime and I’m fine Furloughed fo sho come catch me in a bind You know what I mean it is quarantine club casa My dad died of a pneumonia scar he is mufasa Well he died in 1984 I mean WHO is keeping score The new world health order big brother needing more Unemployed bummer who wouldn’t get lit That was the summer that you didn’t do shit You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast Come get wet let me dip that cigarette You know you better bet that I am dripping sweat Dilated pupils and the brightest of students All of the white kids made the whitest of movements I’m the whitest rapper on your album suck to be featured An angel dust head substitute teacher Don’t buy that guy’s toilet paper get it way cheaper I’m an ethernet goalie internet gate keeper Seeking a tutor that’ll show me how to rap And I laugh at the crap that I hear back to back Daily basis mainly basic regurgitated Complacent wasted dopamine sadist You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast You beer, me trash I’ll drink you down and stash you away inside my heart fast
3.
I know I’m just a jester I know I’m just a minion But please allow me to express my expert opinion Soy boy beta cock, i’m a furious simp With the same last name as a Nigerian prince I know I’m just a jester I know I’m just a minion But please allow me to express my expert opinion Check my credentials, you’ll see I’m such a genius I once bought magic pills to enhance my busted penis And I was all like the earth is totally flat And you can hold that L because well you are mostly wack I am always right. You are always wrong All I need is a flashlight twist tie to build a sideways bong Smoke pot all day and do extensive research on grown ups Im a wizard and Wiccan I’m an intern at Dunkin’ Donuts And so what you can’t handle my superior intellect I’m introspective I’m always thinking about the internet Where do you think I get all my great ideas from Collect resin in jars as back up I mean why be dumb I mean ummm why would I ever stop being high That would never happen like cops being shy Cause fuck the police they’re always taking away my right to party Card me for waking and baking behind an Arby’s I’m hardly ever at school because I’m working 40 protest banners Oh what maters is that you better vote for Bernie Sanders I know I’m just a jester I know I’m just a minion But please allow me to express my expert opinion Soy boy beta cock, i’m a furious simp With the same last name as a Nigerian prince I know I’m just a jester I know I’m just a minion But please allow me to express my expert opinion Check my credentials, you’ll see I’m such a genius I once bought magic pills to enhance my busted penis I’m such a nice guy, girls don’t like me, nice dudes can’t get it I would never ever stay inside for a stupid pandemic Don’t sweat it because this is America The government won’t control me I ain’t scared of ya Hillary had emails, I’ve seen photos, prove it Orange man is good Vaccines are total bullshit I don’t do shit but I know a lot of stuff for a druggie 3am I saw the infomercial bought myself a Snuggie I’m ugly, but a good guy I should be dating a gothic fetish model My standards outweigh my logic Tom Hanks is a pedophile He milks the adrenal gland of babies, drinks blood, the dude is gothy QAnon knows Illuminati Jesus was a hoax just an excuse to impale white folks #WhiteLivesMatter if I get the rona inhale Lysol The coronavirus kills but so does flu and so did lightning Bet you Tom Hanks didn’t even have COVID-19 I know I’m just a jester I know I’m just a minion But please allow me to express my expert opinion Soy boy beta cock, i’m a furious simp With the same last name as a Nigerian prince I know I’m just a jester I know I’m just a minion But please allow me to express my expert opinion Check my credentials, you’ll see I’m such a genius I once bought magic pills to enhance my busted penis
4.
Why you laying down in all that trash Why don’t you get up and take a bath Why don’t you think and do the math Why you think you always come in last Why you ain’t ever put in the effort Why you ever think you ain’t the best for Why you ever think you ain’t blessed for Why you always heaving your chest for Why you always gotta be cryin Why you always wish you were dyin Why you can’t hardly reach your shelf Why you feeling sorry for your self Why don’t you take the trash out Why you wanna run and hide Why don’t you take the trash out Why don’t you take it outside Why don’t you take the trash out Why you wanna run and hide Why don’t you take the trash out Why don’t you take it outside Why you always switch up and go manic Why you always lay in bed and go panic Why can’t you get your life together Why can’t you just enjoy the weather Why don’t you just finish college Why you gotta make it hyperbolic Why are you weak embarrassed and feeble Why you always scared of people Why don’t you know what to say Why you gotta smoke pot all day Why’d you even think you knew something Why don’t you just go do something Why don’t you take the trash out Why you wanna run and hide Why don’t you take the trash out Why don’t you take it outside Why don’t you take the trash out Why you wanna run and hide Why don’t you take the trash out Why don’t you take it outside
5.
I’m a velociraptor, a high school kid aspiring rapper Hanging in the lunchroom with the spinosaurus Inspiring cyphers all the birds perched for us They adore us we are gorgeous Beautiful and clever, Jealous of our feathers Principal Rex made the announcement and told us School was shut down until further notice Bring everything home we better be fast The asteroid to pass then we’ll come back to class The Pachycrocuta laughed we packed up our computers last At that moment everyone got a chill fast We knew it was the end we had had our fill We knew we had to move but we were so still We could feel it in the air it was thick like amber The sense of impending doom the herd began to clamor You better hunker down Nothing to do but frown You better hunker down This is the great shutdown You better hunker down Locked in our caves what now You better hunker down This is the great shutdown And my dad was all upset about the economy I was choking on ash he hadn’t even thought of me What does money matter if the asteroid kills us all He said a few shooting stars won’t matter in the fall The elder dinos might die but they lived a good life Young reptiles prosper and so would I But what about grandma she has to face this He said she’ll be fine we’ll lock her in the basement Fire in the sky grew bigger every day Everyone got tired and didn’t want to stay Locked up inside our caves dinosaurs are meant to play It only took a month before they became depraved They said the asteroid was fake shutdown won’t save us Said the T. Rex just wants to enslave us No one making sense the Cretaceous period had lost its mind This was the end this was goodbye You better hunker down Nothing to do but frown You better hunker down This is the great shutdown You better hunker down Locked in our caves what now You better hunker down This is the great shutdown

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released June 5, 2020

lyrics, vocals, beats, and artwork by M. Sweeney

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Sweeney Toad Palm Beach, Florida

If you're looking for nerdcore, I can tell you I don't have nerdcore... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let nerdcore go now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will find you... and I will nerdcore you. ... more

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