1. |
Zombies Ate My Dick
02:23
|
|||
So I’m at Walmart just minding my own business and the next thing you know
A zombie stepped up to me at the grocery store today
I was all like sir please step six feet away
I don’t want you all up in my business or my face
Especially because your undead what can I say
The next thing you know he’s spitting all over the place
He’s not even wearing a mask what a disgrace
Please practice social distancing let me list off my reasons
Then the next thing you know he bit off my penis
A zombie bit my dick
Chewed it up spit out it was sick
Now I’m a dickless zombie it is lit
Don’t hunger for brains just want dick
Now I’m wondering down the grocery store aisle
I’m feeling zombie symptoms but they are mostly mild
I see a really tall dude picking up a celery stick
My hunger is insatiable for his heavenly dick
I approach this well endowed man with only one thing on my mind
I need to get this dick you know I am on the grind
He politely asks me to please step six feet away
But I’ve already got his dick in my mouth you know I don’t play
A zombie bit my dick
Chewed it up spit out it was sick
Now I’m a dickless zombie it is lit
Don’t hunger for brains just want dick
A zombie bit my dick
Chewed it up spit out it was sick
Now I’m a dickless zombie it is lit
Don’t hunger for brains just want dick
|
||||
2. |
||||
What are those beady little red eyes in the dark
It’s a vampire bat and I’m his mark
A vampire bat yeah that is subtle what do you know
A vampire bat sucked my butthole at the punk rock show
It was Halloween and we were going to the misfits show
We were young and dumb with numb skull dull instincts low
I don’t even know why I was even there
I only ever liked the Danzig songs to be fair
But Jerry Only was an entertainer make no mistake
But I think he could sense my distaste he cursed me with haste
I could feel my butthole tingle it seemed to attract
Like a torpedo in my butthole I got hit with a vampire bat
I felt it’s sharp fangs on my anus as it gripped on
It was like a painful hateful rim job
In god we trust but not today
He buried in my butthole send me your thoughts and prayers
What are those beady little red eyes in the dark
It’s a vampire bat and I’m his mark
A vampire bat yeah that is subtle what do you know
A vampire bat sucked my butthole at the punk rock show
Eyes in the dark, I see his eyes in the dark
Eyes in the dark, I see his eyes in the dark
Eyes in the dark, I see his eyes in the dark
Eyes in the dark, I see his eyes in the dark
The vampire bat had giant freakish wings
Stuck in my butt he hovered up to the ceiling
I was feeling motion sick I notice I’m about to chunk hard loud
I don’t want to but I spew blood on the punk rock crowd
But wouldn’t you know they love it lick it up
Then they become vampires they hunger for thick butts
They shrivel up and turn into vampire bats
They stare at my butthole looking enticingly fat
They all fly inside my butthole no fear fast brave
My butthole is their home it is their bat cave
I am their king Count Dracula’s finest
They plant inside my guts coronavirus
What are those beady little red eyes in the dark
It’s a vampire bat and I’m his mark
A vampire bat yeah that is subtle what do you know
A vampire bat sucked my butthole at the punk rock show
|
||||
3. |
||||
We met in the summer time stayed inside to beat the heat
no sunscreen my quarantine queen
I saw her everyday on my telephone screen
She sucked me in a vortex like a ketamine fiend
You best believe we’d be meeting up
When we get a vaccine we’d be seeing love
I’ve seen enough to know how this works
I know she loves me because of how she flirts
She’s my big tiddy goth girl friend
Our love has lasted thirty days
She’s my big tiddy goth girl friend
I cashapp her every day
She’s my big tiddy goth girl friend
One day she vanished I know what that means
She’s my big tiddy goth girl friend
An actual ghost in the machine
I know this has been sad it hurts the most
Got ghosted again by an actual ghost
I know this has been sad it hurts the most
Got ghosted again by an actual ghost
I know this has been sad it hurts the most
Got ghosted again by an actual ghost
I know this has been sad it hurts the most
Got ghosted again by an actual ghost
A couple minutes went by all I could do was cry
Then I got a message from her mother why
Her mother was spry for sixty two
It was no surprise she had big tiddies too
She told me of the death of her daughter dearest
I had been cashapping her daughters spirt
I made a mistake too late I don’t think so
To get my money back I gave my bank info
She’s my big tiddy goth girl friend
Our love has lasted thirty days
She’s my big tiddy goth girl friend
I cashapp her every day
She’s my big tiddy goth girl friend
One day she vanished I know what that means
She’s my big tiddy goth girl friend
An actual ghost in the machine
I know this has been sad it hurts the most
Got ghosted again by an actual ghost
I know this has been sad it hurts the most
Got ghosted again by an actual ghost
I know this has been sad it hurts the most
Got ghosted again by an actual ghost
I know this has been sad it hurts the most
Got ghosted again by an actual ghost
|
||||
4. |
||||
It was just supposed to be a weekend getaway
But it certainly was not I’m mad to say
Just a cabin in the woods with a bunch of frat brothers
What could go wrong I had a hunch among others
All the tongue mothers yelled loudly in my ear
I proudly could hear I found the new fear
Time to be assaulted guess who will be faulted
I asked for every minute supernatural involvement
I need to be proving that I’m innocence
I need to be losing indiscriminance
Intimidence it’s a scary place to be
I knew about the werewolf when I was barely even three
I could never see what blackouts ever meant
I just knew the next day we could pay the rent
We just complain to vent about being a disgrace
Can’t sleep in my bed without tea bags in my face
The smoke is coming in from the hills
That’s why we got the chills
I don’t want to be left alone tonight
Yeah I am scared too
You left me alone with a bunch of savage dudes
And frankly it was kind of rude
I hold resentment towards your lack of fair rules
I got teabagged by a pack of werewolves
All they want to do is play beer pong and get higher
This is going to be a weird long all nighter
I think I am right for believing in myself
Tired of bad hands I keep getting dealt
I need better cards far from carpal tunnel
When the moon got full my frat brothers huddled
I am not a baby not a goat to be sacrificed
I’m about to be hazed to pay the lasting price
A bunch of hairy dudes holding me down it’s scary y’all
I’m about to be buried crowned with the hairy balls
I can not unsee that I stare through the crack
I did not agree to be teabagged by a wolf pack
I dare to prod my brother with a silver buttplug
A silver bullet vibrates inside his gut nug
I bit the bullet even though it was silver
My frats were teen wolves I was the killer
The smoke is coming in from the hills
That’s why we got the chills
I don’t want to be left alone tonight
Yeah I am scared too
You left me alone with a bunch of savage dudes
And frankly it was kind of rude
I hold resentment towards your lack of fair rules
I got teabagged by a pack of werewolves
|
||||
5. |
||||
I met my witch mistress in the middle of the woods
Magic was changing me who knew a little bit could
Lost in the abyss it was not my intention
Kissed by a witch I lost my discretion
It’s not what I’m used to or something I knew I wanted
With the toe of frog and the eye of newt I am haunted
I was floating to the ceiling caught in suspension
The witch in the woods has caught my attention
I was cursed by a witch and I liked it
The taste of her poison it was righteous
I was cursed by a witch hey don’t fight it
I hope my church they don’t mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right
She cast a love spell in love tonight
I was cursed by a witch and I liked it
Yeah I liked it
She didn’t even know my name it didn’t matter
Her walls were covered with goat blood splatter
I was just a game her experiment
She sealed my fate with an endearing kiss
I tasted her poison on my lips
I craved more she had me in her grips
I was her slave and I had to behave
She was my queen and I had to obey
I was cursed by a witch and I liked it
The taste of her poison it was righteous
I was cursed by a witch hey don’t fight it
I hope my church they don’t mind it
It felt so wrong, it felt so right
She cast a love spell in love tonight
I was cursed by a witch and I liked it
Yeah I liked it
|
Streaming and Download help
If you like Sweeney Toad, you may also like:
Bandcamp Daily your guide to the world of Bandcamp