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Brown Torpedoes

from Wrong Again by Sweeney Toad

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Met her at the always sunny convention
Did I mention, she was looking for crack?

Had to give her a rose in a glass tube
That thousand pound dude in a fight milk shirt has passed food
He hungers to tack on mass, we run out the back
Smoke crack in the alley by the dumpster, she’s a lady

The metal plate echoes of a crying dumpster baby
We head back to my apartment with a thousand cats waiting
she does so bravely, Gravy is set boiling on the furnace
reminisce about the jail time of Ernest

And the murders in Scranton, we hypothesized was bastardman Dennis
And the pennis size of Danny Devito, neato
both agree on magnum sized, fantasize about the power bottom credo, conversation finito

Cause I got something for you
Beans and guac, wow burritos

I have tricked for the last time
Now taste my brown torpedoes

(Be bop ba bodda bope X4)

Sitting’ in the room upstairs dry humping my leg she’s smashing it
Jean shorts on getting hand jobs she is mashing it
I roll up the pcp loosely in a poorly rolled joint
She thinks we should bang under the bridge where she lives, it’s a bold point

It’s a cold point with a paddy’s pub thong always sunny attire
We kept warm under the bridge by a money fire
We crawled into a mattress with an old black man sleeping
We each drank a case of beer, wait am I peeing?

And I’m seeing for the first time a woman I love more than cats
A woman who taught me the wonders of scat
“Fire!” She said, and before I could make a sound though
Got a steaming mouth full of sweet brown torpedoes

Cause I got something for you
Beans and guac, wow burritos

I have tricked for the last time
Now taste my brown torpedos X2

(Be bop ba bodda bope X4)


from Wrong Again, released May 1, 2020


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Sweeney Toad Palm Beach, Florida

If you're looking for nerdcore, I can tell you I don't have nerdcore... but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let nerdcore go now, that will be the end of it - I will not look for you, I will not pursue you... but if you don't, I will find you... and I will nerdcore you. ... more

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